I've wondered if its just because of my personal life experiences or if all pregnant women go through a difficult time with this. The last few nights, I've had dreams of something going wrong with the pregnancy leading up to last night's dream that was about losing both babies and left me emotionally drained this morning.
But it doesn't stop with dreaming. I think the dreams are a symptom of the way I feel all the time. Its like I have this constant fear within me that something will go wrong. And I wonder if it is magnified by the fact that its so difficult for me to get pregnant in the first place, costing thousands of dollars and lots of preparation with Invitro. Or is it due to the fact that I had a lot of problems in my first pregnancy, including 2 hospitalizations of several days each and a month of bed rest after a scare that could have resulted in a miscarriage at week 20.
So, I wonder . . . do those who get pregnant easily & those who have had no "scares" during pregnancy go through this same emotional roller coaster?
P.S. I can't wait until my ultrasound on Tuesday so that I can see these babies moving around & hear that everything is okay. It brings such comfort to actually see them alive & doing well on the screen in front of me. If I had my wish, I would have an ultrasound machine at home that I could use on a daily basis!